Thursday Thankfuls

Shout joyfully to the LORD, all the earth. Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Know that the LORD Himself is God; It is He who has made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, And His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting, And His faithfulness to all generations.

-Psalm 100

A week ago my heart was heavy. I was in the middle of a storm of life - I felt waves crashing over me on every side. Almost every aspect of my life was under some sort of stress or worry. My jaw was perpetually aching and I was popping Tylenol daily. My chest was always tight and I sometimes found myself gasping for breath or having to consciously take gulps of air in order to combat the feeling that I couldn't breathe. I was holding back tears all day long and laying awake most of the night.

How different this week feels!

Every one of my worries, every stress, every situation I lost sleep over has been resolved. My jaw is not longer aching and my chest has lost the feeling of tightness. I slept well last night for the first time in several weeks. 

My heart feels light; my attitude is positive and my soul is singing. 

Part of me also feels foolish. Why did I worry? When will I learn to place my trust completely in my Heavenly Father and leave my burdens at the cross instead of continually picking them back up again? He answered each one of my prayers and He took care of all the situations that I laid at His feet. So why did I lose sleep over them when He had it all under control? Why was my jaw aching and why did my dentist say I have ground my back teeth down significantly in the last 6 months? 

Because I don't fully trust. I have gotten better at running to my Heavenly Father with my worries and my needs. I have learned to cast my cares, give my burdens up to Him and to turn to His Word as a source of comfort. But I haven't learned yet how to STAY in that place. How to rest in His peace when everything around me is falling apart. I keep going back to that cross and picking up my worries and trying to carry them on my own shoulders - thinking that I know better than God. Believing that He doesn't have my back, that He isn't going to come through so I'd better take matters into my own hands.

And all it does is leave me with worn down teeth, an aching jaw, a sick stomach and severely sleep deprived. When will I learn that I cannot do for myself what my Heavenly Father can? It's so hard to remember that His timing is not ours and that just because things aren't sorted out when I think they should be that He is still on His throne.

So today my spirit soars, and my soul is singing praises of thanksgiving. And I hope that next time the storm rages, I will be able to lay down my burdens at the cross and leave them there. He has it all under control, and there is no need for me to fight a battle that has already been won.

For this I am thankful.

Thursday Thankfuls

- The sound of my husband stacking firewood outside my window. I love the fact that he is home during the day and that he is working hard around the house.

-For quiet time. Today all the stars aligned and every. single. one. of the children here today are either sleeping or quietly looking at books. I am taking advantage of a few quiet minutes and soaking them in, so that I can power through the rest of what will be a very busy day.

-A word from God. For a while now I have been feeling like God is silent in my life, and my prayer life has been stagnant, my Bible reading has been flat. This morning I clearly heard from God and although it wasn't what I was expecting to hear, I am so thankful that He spoke and that I was able to hear in those 10 stolen minutes at the breakfast table this morning when I opened my Bible.

-For tea lattes. I make them often now and there is just something about that foamy topping on a mug of my favorite David's Tea that makes it seem like a treat. (I totally cheat and just shake my milk until it foams and then microwave it, but it tastes great to me!)

-For a high end washer and dryer. When we moved into this house it came with a brand new washer and dryer. Today alone I have washed and dried diapers, a load of clothes, and two sets of soaking wet pants and socks and one pair of soaking wet shoes. Boo for everything being soaking wet outside all the time - I can't keep the babies out of the puddles that collect on all the toys and equipment and they always end up drenched. But yay for a dryer that dries those wet clothes quickly and sings me a little song when it's done!